


The Way The World Turned

by Gameguy1992



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Dark fic, F/M, Regret, Sad, What Could Have Been, implied past wildehopps, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-18 19:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20197165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gameguy1992/pseuds/Gameguy1992
Summary: Not every story has a happy ending. Sometimes there is nothing to say to fix what has been broken. No action that can undo the damage done. Sometimes all you can do is try to hold it together until it's over, and then pray you can pickup the pieces of yourself when you're alone again.





	The Way The World Turned

**Author's Note:**

> Hey folks. 
> 
> been feeling pretty down lately. depression, anxiety and worry.  
this fic is a result of that. 
> 
> not really sure what it's supposed to be or what the point of it is.  
maybe some kind of social commentary about how people who do the right thing can still get screwed?  
Im not sure. 
> 
> point is, ive written it and now im sharing it with all of you.  
Im sure most of you wont like it, since it's not a happy story.  
but i guess i felt this was a story worth telling. 
> 
> You've been warned.

The call came in the middle of the night, making her groan as she was pulled from her sleep and grope through the darkness for her phone. "Wh-what?"

The calm female voice on the other line spoke, her tone calm but clearly unsure. "Um… Mrs Hopps… we have someone down here at the precinct. He's been arrested as part of the mass predator protests." She groaned, slowly sitting up in bed. Why would someone be calling her about this? 

"What's that got to do with me?"

The voice on the other line was silent for a moment before answering. "He's… it's your old partner… Nick Wilde." 

THAT made her open her eyes, rubbing the sleep from them as that shot of reality helped bring her out of her dream; Dissolving the last hazy images of the dream world she'd been in. Nick? She hadn't seen him in… 5 years… at least. Taking a deep breath she nodded, more to herself than to anyone else. "Ok. I'll be there in a few minutes."

Hanging up her phone Judy slowly got out of bed, groaning as she began to gather up her uniform. Glancing at the clock on her nightstand she found that the red numbers staring back at her shown, 5:22AM. Pulling on her pants and shirt Judy found her mind drifting back, back to this time five years ago. She'd been… well… happy back then. There was no other way to put it. She'd been happy then. She'd genuinely looked forward to waking up each day, to going to work and seeing Nick and working to make the world a better place. Spending her shifts with Nick was a blast. The red fox was always cracking jokes or flirting or challenging her in some way. Even when things had gotten serious, when they'd been on a drug raid or in the middle of a shootout he'd managed to make her feel better. She'd loved every minute of it. But now…

Closing the door to her apartment Judy silently made her down the hall to the elevator before riding it down to the lobby and heading for her car. Less than five minutes later the engine purred to life and she was off, heading towards the precinct. Above her the lights of the city shown down at her, looking oddly calm and inviting as she drove through the mostly still asleep city. The (probably) rookie who had called her said Nick had been arrested at a predator protest. Which meant he was still doing the very things that had gotten him kicked off the force all those years ago. In a way… that was oddly comforting. To know that his views on that subject hadn't changed. It made her wonder what else was still the same. But it also made her scared, worried at what HAD changed in the last five years. The last time they'd seen each other… it's hadn't been good. They'd ended up yelling, and in the end, Nick had stormed out of her apartment without saying goodbye.

Coming to a stop at a red light Judy sighed softly, her eyes wandering the streets and sidewalks looking for something to distract her rapidly uneasing mind. Hardly anyone was awake this early. A few shops had their windows lit up, showing those inside preparing for the day. A few nocturnal animals walked along the sidewalks on their way back to the nocturnal district but for the most part the streets and sidewalks were abandoned. For the entire 15 minutes it took her to go from her apartment to the precinct she passed only one other vehicle; a slightly busted up car being driven by an equally disheveled looking groundhog who smiled at her as she passed. 

Precinct one looked almost as if it was closed when she pulled up in front of it. Most of the lights were off and no one standing out front, such a Stark contrast to how it was during the day. Shutting off the engine of the car Judy got out and headed up the many steps before entering the building. For a moment her mind played a trick on her, recreating and happy sing song "hey Judy," That she'd heard for years whenever she'd come into work. Clawhauser had been a staple of precinct one, practically their mascot to the public; and a few times their literal mascot during precinct sporting events. Now though the front desk sat empty; the new person who manned it, a young and slightly dismissive horse named chance was nothing compared to clawhauser. Making her way past the front desk Judy flashed her badge at the scanner before stepping into the hallway where she met another officer. 

She knew this officer, officer Howet a young and spunky male otter. She'd worked with him before, overall a good cop but perhaps a little jumpy. As the heavy metal door swung shut and liked behind her Howet jumped slightly and looked up from the paperwork he was carrying to look at her. "O-officer hopps. You made it."

She nodded, not breaking stride as she continued to walk while Howet fell in line next to her. "Where is he?"

Howet answered timidly a moment later. "In interrogation room three. He's already been processed and now he's just waiting to give his statement." 

She nodded, turning to look at Howet she spoke. "And why did you call me?"

Howet blinked at her. "Some of the others said… that he… used to be an officer here. Is… is that true?"

Sighing again Judy nodded. "Yeah. He did. He was my partner for 6 months."

Howet's eyes widened. "A… a fox?"

Nodding again Judy came to a stop in the hallway. "I'll get his statement and take things from here."

Howet looked at her nervously. "D-did you want to wait for security to meet you at interrogation?"

Despite her fatigue Judy felt her anger flare slightly. It was a fair question, part of their new standard procedure when questioning predator species. "No." Her voice was a bit sharper than usual. "Give me the case file. you can go." She didn't wait for him to hand them over, instead she took them from him, turning her attention away from the Howet and to the file now in her hands as she opened it. According to the police report Nick had been arrested for 'unruly and unlawfully gathering with other predators after curfew'. Sighing to herself again Judy closed the file, tucking it under her arm as she walked the few dozen or so feet to the interrogation room before making a bit of a jump to reach the handle and open the door. 

Barely a step into the room and his scent washed over her, exactly how she remembered it. Musky, sweaty, a combination of faint spice from his shampoo and nutrascent. It was such a blast from the past she actually passed, nose nose twitching unconsciously as she inhaled. "Hello carrots. Long time no see." The tone of his voice was low and tired. She blinked, taking a deep breath while biting her lip as she forced herself to move forward and pull out the chair on the other side of the metal table. Putting the case file on the table Judy steeled herself, making sure the file's edges were lined up with the table before slowly looking up at Nick. He hadn't changed that much. He wore the same old green pawian shirt and khaki pants he'd worn all those years ago. His fur was still well kept although it was a bit shaggier than it had been before and he still had the kind of eyes that told you his mind was working on a problem. But the look he was giving her had changed. It wasn't the look of an old friend, or the look of someone who was happy to see her. It was a cold look, a bored look. A look of someone resigned to the fact that they were doing something they didn't want to do. It hurt, if she was being honest. Was he not even the tiniest bit happy to see her again? "You're looking well." The tone behind the compliment was bored and unconvincing.

Smiling weakly she responded, falling back into an old rhythm he and she had once had. "You look like shit."

That got a chuckle out of him, his ears flicking forward in amusement. "Ouch. Carrots got game now. This will be fun." Silence fell between then, with Judy finding her voice oddly absent as she stared across the table at her former partner, best friend and… what possibly could have been more. After several seconds Nick chuckled. "I know I'm good looking carrots but try to be professional. Stop mentally undressing me."

She blinked his risque joke making her ears burn slightly as she shook her head. "I… I wasn't! I just… it… it's nice… to see you again."

Nick shrugged. "It's ok. Wish it was under better circumstances. I told them not to call you, I remember how you dislike being woken up before 7am."

Again she felt a twinge of pain in her heart. He hadn't wanted them to call her? Using that small bit of pain Judy forced herself to shift, doing her best to slip back into work-mode. "Why don't you tell me what happened?"

Across from her Nick shrugged. "Nothing happened. Me and some friends were hanging out and minding our own business. Someone didn't like that and called the cops."

Judy frowned. "The report says you were 'hanging out' after curfew."

Nick rolled his eyes. "The curfew for predators only exists in prey designated areas. We were in a clearly marked predator neighborhood. Not that the cops cared when they came."

Again Judy frowned, opening the file and scanning a few more lines and notes made by the arresting officer. "The report doesn't say anything about the neighborhood Nick."

Nick rolled his eyes. "Big fucking surprise carrots, does it EVER? Nope. The report just says 'unruly and unlawful gathering'. which is code for 'how dare those preds try to be happy. Let's call the cops and maybe one of them will get beat or tazed'."

Judy's ears flick back at the sound of the disgust in Nick's voice. "I'm… I'm sure that's not what the person who called the cops was thinking."

Nick looked at her, his expression cold. "Bull fucking shit carrots. And you know it. When it's a group of preds and their cubs playing soccer in the streets of their own neighborhood and someone calls the cops saying we're a dangerous mob, what the fuck else could they be thinking?"

Judy cocked her head. "You were playing soccer in the streets at night?" Nick nodded, giving her a look that just dared her to ask the very question she knew she had to ask. "Why?"

Nick shrugged. "It's easier to play at night. A lot of nocturnal predators don't see very well during the day. We prefer to play games at night when were not trying to see a moving ball through the blinding light of the sun."

Judy nodded, remembering that Nick had told her something similar when they'd first become partners and she'd questioned him about why he always wore sunglasses. "Was anyone being unruly or behaving aggressively?"

Nick's eyes narrowed at her, an action that made her fur prickle slightly. "No. It was a bunch of parents and their cubs. No one was behaving badly, we didn't even have alcohol there because none of us wanted this very thing to happen. But jokes on us I guess, it happened anyways."

Judy bit her lip again. The tone of sarcasm and barely contained anger was almost palpable in Nick's words. "Was… was anyone hurt? When the police showed up?"

Nick shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know. Physically, maybe nothing more than a sprained wrist or two from the cuffs. Mentally and emotionally…" Nick sat forward in his chair looking at her. "13 cubs just watched one of their parents being dragged off by police after we triple checked every law to make sure we weren't breaking any and then assured everyone that we'd be ok."

Taking a deep breath Judy did her best to remain calm. If what Nick was saying was true, the predators who had been arrested had been so without due cause. Which meant the police were not doing their jobs properly. "Nic-"

But he cut her off, leaning back in his chair and speaking in a casually disinterested voice. "But you know what really pisses me off carrots? You know what is making my blood BOIL right now and makes me want to rip my fur off my tail? It's that whoever called the cops was fucking watching and stalking us and breaking the law to do it."

Judy frowned at that. "What do you mean?"

Nick grinned. "Carrots our neighborhood is surrounded on three sides by rows of abandoned buildings. Buildings the neighborhood owns in hopes of fixing them up for more housing. That makes them private property. And the one side that isn't it right up against the city wall. So we're literally against the back wall and behind several abandoned buildings. Which means for anyone to see what we were doing then they would have had to have been on one of those rooftops watching up. Like a god damn prison guard. Or watching us from an alley like a serial killer!" Judy's eyes widened in shock. "But does anyone care about that? No. No why care about it when clearly the predators are getting to uppity and happy. Better call the cops. Well great their plan fucking worked."

Closing her eyes Judy forced herself to take a breath, willing herself to remain calm. She was angry. Angry with her fellow cops, angry with whoever had called them, and angry that this entire situation had happened for seemingly no real reason. Taking another breath she sighed, opening her eyes to look at her once partner. "I'm sorry Nick. I'm sorry this happened. I'll speak with the chief when he gets in and have everyone released. This won't happen again."

Nick rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Don't lie to me Judy. You were always terrible at it."

Despite her best efforts a spark of anger escape her control, making Judy grind her teeth together. "I'm not lying Nick. I WILL talk to Bogo first thing. Before he even has his cup of coffee."

Nick rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Oh I have no doubt about that Judy. If anyone can bend old buffalo-butt's arm it's you. But don't say this won't happen again, because we both know that's not true. In fact it'll happen again within the week I bet. Some prey will see a pred do something totally innocent and take it as an act of aggression. They'll call the cops and they'll show up and the prey will say how the pred was savage and a danger to everyone around him. When in reality all he was trying to do was smile for a photo or chase his kid or something. So done lie to me Judy. This will happen again and you damn well know it."

Looking away from Nick Judy exhaled weakly. He was right. As much as she hated it, and she did truly hate it. He was right. Willing herself to look back up at him she tried to think of something to say. He had been her best friend at one time. Her partner and… had even started to be something more. Yet sa here now she found her voice failed her. What was there to say? What could she say? 

"How have you been?" For the first Nick's voice didn't contain any sound of coldness or anger. It was soft, perhaps slightly nervous but mostly genuine. 

Doing her best to smile weakly she responded. "I've been… ok. My sister Anna got married, so I got to see the family last month." That was true, and while it had been nice to see her mother and father and all of her brothers and sisters, the wedding had brought with it a few uneasy questions. Questions about the fox she'd brought with her a few times to other family occasions but none of them had seen lately. To say that her family had liked Nick was an understatement. Her mother had been nervous at first, admittedly. But once Nick had shown his skills in the kitchen that nervousness had vanished. Same for her father when Nick had shown an ability to go shot for shot during drinking games with the patriarch of the Hopps family.

Across from her Nick smiled. "She was the one with the glasses? And the splotch of white over her right eye. Right? Congrats to her. Tell her I said congratulations."

Swallowing Judy nodded. "I... I will." More silence fell between them. It was maddening. She'd wanted desperately to find him over the years. Had even tried to use police resources to find him, but she'd never found a hair of him. He seemed to have simply vanished, leaving her unable to say the things she had wanted to say. But now he was sitting right in front of her, looking bored and casual and she couldn't find the right words to say. Shifting nervously in her chair she managed to say a few words, her voice low and uncertain. "I… I tried… to find you… after… that day. But the landlord at your place said you'd moved out."

Nick huffed slightly. "Course that old bastard would say that. Didn't want to get arrested." She looked up at him confused and he elaborated. "Judy he threw me out of the building. The moment those laws passed and the public found out I wasn't a cop anymore that codgery old stag nailed an eviction notice to my door and threw all my stuff into the street."

Judy's stomach twisted sickeningly. "I… I… I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Nick shrugged. "It's fine. Spent a few weeks living on the streets, like the old times. After a bit finnick and I managed to get hold of an abandoned warehouse for pretty cheap. Started using it like a commune for other displaced preds. So everything worked out."

Again Judy's stomach twisted horribly. "You were living on the street? Nick you should have come to me! I would have helped. You could have stayed with me."

But Nick shook his head sadly. "No Judy, I couldn't have."

Tears welled up in the corner of her eyes as she stared at him. "Why not? I was your best friend! No matter what was going on between us I wouldn't have turned my back on you like that. I would have helped you."

In front of her Nick sighed deeply, his ears drooping in sadness. "No Judy. You were more than my best friend. You… you were my whole world. I was in love with you. I… I worshipped you. You were everything I wanted to be. You were the one person I thought would always stand by me."

The tears were growing now, silently starting to trickle down the sides of her face. "I am. I still am Nick."

But Nick shook his head. "No Judy, You're not. Because when I needed you most, you didn't back me up. You didn't take my side."

And suddenly it all came back to her, like a sledgehammer to her chest. She could see the scene so clearly in her mind, every detail etched into her brain forever. She could see the sheep, the one who had called 911 in the first place. His shirt was torn and blood was oozing from several slashes that covered his shoulder. And she could see the wolf, his confused scared expression evident on his face as he tried to protest that he hadn't done anything. That the sheep had fallen and had cut himself on a vase he'd been carrying. Meanwhile the sheep was yelling that the wolf had attacked him in a savage rage. And…

"Why?" Her voice was weak, finally asking the question she'd wanted to ask him for the last five years. "Why did you refuse to arrest the wolf?"

Nick rolled his eyes. "Because it was bullshit Judy. All of it. The sheep was lying. The wolf didn't attack him."

Doing her best to wipe away her tears Judy countered. "But you could have arrested them both and brought them here. You could have questioned them and gotten to the bottom of it all. Instead-"

Across from her Nick shook his head. "No Judy. I didn't need to question them. It was obvious the sheep was lying. The wolf was innocent and I wasn't going to arrest an innocent person just to release them later. No matter what the chief said I should have done."

She stared at him. How could he be so calm? How could he talk so calmly about something that had cost him his job? Nick seemed to know what he was thinking because after a few moments he shrugged. "Losing my job didn't hurt that much Judy. I mean… yeah it hurt, but I expected it to happen. What really hurt… what tore my heart out and crushed it into the ground, was you. I still remember what you said, I hear it every night when I go to sleep.x Nick voice changed, becoming slightly higher in imitation of hers. "You idiot! You just pissed away 10 months of work for nothing! Maybe you should just go back to selling pawpsicles!"

The sound of those words was like a knife to her chest. She'd been upset that night. She'd been so angry at him for not just doing what had to be done to keep his job. All he would have had to do was apologize and promise not to do it again. That's all it would have taken and he could have kept his job. And yet… he'd refused. In fact he'd told Bogo to fuck off and left his badge on the chief's desk in the same breath. Taking a deep breath Judy willed herself not to start crying again. "Nick… I didn't… I didn't mean it. I was angry. I just-"

But Nick shook his head. "Yes you did Judy. But it's ok. You were right. I wasn't cut out to be a cop."

Judy felt her voice died in her throat, which closed up as if she was having an allergic reaction. Her mouth opened and closed several times, trying to find the right words to say. To make him understand. She'd been angry that night, yes. But not just at him. At the chief, at the wolf, at the sheep, at everything that had happened. But mostly… she'd been angry at herself. She'd seen the look Nick had given her, when he'd stood up and defended his choice to not arrest the wolf when he'd been told to. He'd been expecting her to back him up, to say something to the chief in defense of his choice. And yet…

"I'm sorry Nick." Her voice was low and weak, weaker than she'd ever spoken before. "I'm so sorry I didn't stand up for you. I should have said something. I should have defended you. I should have resigned too. I should have-"

The tears had returned, trickling down the sides of her face as she struggled to breathe. Across from her Nick sighed. "It's in the past Judy. We can't change it. This is the way the world turned. So let's just forget it. Now I've been here for three hours, which means I'm entitled to my phone call now. So please, can I have a phone?"

That single phone it turned out was a 30 minute conversation with half a dozen people on the other line. At first she'd been a bit confused, but when a female voice had asked about her husband Judy has realized with a jolt that Nick was talking to the families of the other predators who had been arrested. He did his best to reassure them, telling them he would stay with the others who had been arrested and would get them back home as soon as he could. As he hung up the phone Nick looked to her sheepishly. "Thanks for not cutting me off."

She nodded, swallowing the painful lump that had sprung up in her throat. After several seconds she managed a weak. "You're welcome."

Silence again fell between them, broken after several moments by Nick who sighed softly. "Ok, I'm ready to go back to lockup." 

For several seconds she sat there frozen, trying to find something to say or do to keep Nick there. But try as she might she couldn't think of anything. Gmagain Nick seemed to know what she was thinking. "Judy… look at me." She bit her lip but did as he said. Her pink eyes connecting with his green ones. "There is nothing either of us can say to undo the last 5 years. Too much has happened. I'm not that fox you knew anymore and you're not that cute little bunny I knew. It's all behind us. So please, just take me back to lockup and then go talk to Bogo, that's all you can do right now."

Swallowing painfully Judy nodded, slowly getting down off her chair before moving to hold the door to the room open so Nick could pass through. The walk to holding was made in silence, each step feeling like a blow to her already abused stomach and psyche. She wanted to say something, anything. Anything to make things back to the way they had been. She wished harder than she'd ever wished before, hoping and praying that something would come to mind as they rode the elevator down in silence. But as the elevator dinged and they stepped out she knew it was hopeless. Nick was right. There was nothing she could say that would change things. The things she'd said that night had sealed her fate. Whatever might have been was long gone and out of reach now. Stepping into the main holding area Judy found the cells filled with half a dozen other predators who all looked at them as they entered. "Relax guys," Nick's voice had that usual sense of calm and coolness she remembered so well. "I talked with officer hopps here and told her our side of it. She says she'll talk to the chief and try to have us out of her as soon as possible." Several of the jailed predators looked relieved while a few still remained anxious as she led Nick to empty cell before pulling the gate open and watching as he stepped inside.

Closing the gate behind him was one of the worst feelings she'd ever felt in her life. A sickening combinations of guilt, grief, self loathing and pain. "Nick..."

She watched as he turned to her, a sad smile covering his face. "Some days Judy… I wish I'd never become a cop. Some days I wish I'd stayed a hustler. Cause maybe then things would have turned out different. Maybe then the new laws wouldn't have bothered me. Maybe I might have been able to shrug and just see them as another way to screw us preds over. If I'd been able to do that… who knows. Maybe instead of being here you and I would be at home, curled up in bed together and I'd be telling you how beautiful you are. I used to hope for that to happen a lot back then. But that's not how the world turned. And I'm sorry for that. I really and truly am."

The tears were back, making her sides shake as she nodded in agreement; her voice cracking as she tried to speak. "M-m-me to-too."

From in his cell Nick smiled weakly. "I'll see you around carrots. Stop by sometime, now that you know where I like."

She nodded again, more vigorously this time. "I will. I promise."

Again Nick smiled. "Good."

She forced herself to breath, to take each breath even though it felt like she was having a heart attack. Her chest ached, her legs were shaking, and every hair on her body was telling her to leap into the cell with him and hold him until he understood how sorry she was for everything that had happened between them.

"Goodbye carrots."

His words held a kind of finality to them. A weight that hit her harder than any punch or kick. She nodded, to choked up to speak and quickly hurried out of the holding area; managing to make it back to the elevator before she completely broke down.


End file.
